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Let's adopt the GOP's national platform
Well, I didn't expect this!
The National Republican Party has published an official policy document showing that the GOP really might be more than a gaggle of serve-the-rich plutocrats and wacky, Trumped-up right-wingers. Just when you thought the party was consuming itself in the know-nothingism of its presidential pretenders and the recalcitrant do-nothingism of its congress critters, out comes a sign of sanity.
In this 18-page manifesto, the party proclaims that, "Our government was created by the people for all the people, and it must serve no less a purpose." ALL the people! Forget pontifications by Wall Street billionaires dividing America into virtuous "creators" (like themselves) and worthless "moochers" (like you and me) – this document abounds with commitments to the common good. "America does not prosper," it proudly proclaims on page three, "unless all Americans prosper." Wow – that's downright democratic!
And how's this for a complete turnaround: "Labor is the United States. The men and women, who with their minds, their hearts and hands, create the wealth that is shared in this country – they are America." Holy Koch brothers, share the wealth?
Yes, and how about this: "The protection of the right of workers to organize into unions and to bargain collectively is the firm and permanent policy of the [Republican Party]." Eat your heart out, Scott Walker, and you other labor-bashing GOP governors!
The document also supports our public postal service, the United Nations, equal rights for women, expanding our national parks, "vigorous enforcement of anti-trust laws," and raising the minimum wage. New enlightenment in the Grand Old Party. Hallelujah!
Can all this be true? Yes – except it's not new. This document is the Republican Party Platform… of 1956.
"Republican Party Platform of 1956," www.presidency.ucsb.edu, August 20, 1956.